How deeply do our actions as fathers influence our sons?

The way we show up, the way we carry ourselves as men – how much of that becomes the blueprint they inherit?

Before becoming a father, I often envisioned the kind of man I wanted to be. I saw myself as someone who would walk a lifelong path of personal growth – relentlessly pursuing competence and self-mastery. I wanted to offer my future children the tools and knowledge to navigate the world with confidence, to separate themselves from the herd. My hope was that my ambitions would reflect onto them, shaping them into capable, self-sufficient humans – people who could take care of themselves and be useful to others, whether out of compassion or responsibility.

I think I speak for a lot of men when I say that during the process of your partner growing a tiny human inside her – it’s very difficult to feel the same connection she feels. You want to feel it with everything in you, but it isn’t happening inside your body. The experience is entirely hers. From the moment she sees that positive test, something awakens in her – a maternal instinct to love and protect that child instantly.

It’s November 25th, 8:30 a.m. I’m sitting outside the OR – my wife is behind those doors, undergoing her C-section. I’m waiting to be called in to experience the moment of embrace of the arrival of my firstborn son.