Entry #10 — Dear Son: Character

Diaries Of A Father

“You can’t have an easy life and a great character”

- Jimmy Carr

Life is filled with mystery—the mystery of why the things that happen in our lives happen to us, often with such terrible timing that they feel completely unfair. You can’t help but wonder, Why me?

The truth is, as hard as it may seem in the moment, life is happening for you, not to you. Life is coming from you, not at you.

The sooner you understand the accountability that comes with this, the sooner you’ll find peace in your life.

You will come across people who encourage you to join them in their negative view of the world. They find comfort in being the victim, placing blame on everything outside themselves and seeking validation through your agreement.

Their perception of reality is literally unrealistic.

Reality always wins. It’s guaranteed—100% of the time. You can always count on that, it will always get in your way.

Your favourite toy or T-shirt will one day break or wear out. That’s the nature of loving something so much. It becomes part of your identity, your soul. Every adventure leaves another mark. Nothing lasts forever. Just wait until you start losing your knees.

When you’re older, you’ll learn the same about the people you love. Having to say goodbye to your first love, your second love, maybe even your third, or to family and friends before you’re ready, is one of life’s hardest lessons. Love makes pain inevitable, you’ll never be ready for it, but life goes on—and so will you. You’ll be stronger each time. I promise.

Time is not yours to keep. It will pass whether you like it or not. The only currency you truly get to keep is your memories. So be present. Stop staring at your screen, or you’ll have nothing worth holding onto.

Bullies will always exist in one form or another. You’ll never completely escape them. Find peace in knowing their cruelty is often a projection of the lack of love and empathy in their own lives. Just remember who you are to your dad. It’s not about you. You are enough, and you are great.

Finding yourself will never be easy. It’s confusing as hell trying to figure out where you belong and who you truly want to become. If you’re anything like me, stagnation will feel like a dagger in your heart. Your interests will change, and with them, the people you surround yourself with may change too. Sometimes you’ll feel completely alone.

That’s okay.

Sometimes being alone is exactly what you need. It gives you the space to sit with your thoughts, discover your ambitions, and become the person you’re meant to be. I still feel alone in my pursuits.

There will never be a point in your life without resistance, conflict, or friction. Life will always present mental and physical problems to solve. Character isn’t built by avoiding those problems. It’s built by accepting reality, taking responsibility, and deciding how you’ll respond instead of blaming something outside yourself.

So cherish the things you love. Make memories you’ll carry forever. Understand the importance of where you come from. It’s okay to feel alone sometimes.

Just Remember:

Life is coming from you, not at you.

The sooner you truly understand that, the more meaning you’ll find in everything life asks of you.

Love,

Dad